i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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