We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
