it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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