Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
