After last night, I could never be a politician.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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