I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
