it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
