I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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