just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
