Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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