I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
