Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
