You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish you could order shots online.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
