I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
