Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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