She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
