This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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