from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
