you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Found your dick twin last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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