And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
