Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
