College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
