this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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