But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
