Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
