I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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