I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
