He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
