i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
