Christians are straight up FREAKS
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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