i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
