Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
