Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
