It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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