Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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