just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
These tits shall not be calmed
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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