let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
