Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
