Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
