yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
