worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
