My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
