He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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