My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
