New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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