She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
