just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
