I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
