she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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