Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
