I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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