i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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