I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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